As I was searching for pictures of my clients to highlight this week, I came across an old picture of myself, and then a current one. It actually shocked me a bit. While I’d rather be bragging about others, I thought I would put it out there, regardless of how I feel about exposing my insecurities and feelings of vulnerability. After all, we are all human, right?
You see, I have a birthday coming up. I find birthdays, as well as a few holidays throughout the year, a good time to reflect. How has the year been? Are you happy with where you are? What can you improve on? What are you proud of? Of course this does not have to be regarding self image, but today it is for me. I guess finding these pictures made me step back and say, “Ok, you’re doing something right.”
Fact: I’ve never been little. My Mom would tell me growing up, “You’re not fat, honey, just solid.” To this day, I’m not exactly sure what that means. In my eyes, I’ve always been a bigger girl. I was always the bigger one of my friends. When lining up for pictures, I was in the back, standing taller and bigger. I was the last one picked during gym class and had little to no athletic ability. I’ve had to watch my weight my entire life. At one time, I was a size 18. To some of you, that might not mean anything; to others you may say, that’s nothing. To me, it was time to do something about myself.
When Bill and I started CrossFit Cleveland, I really wanted nothing to do with it. Actually, I didn’t do anything at first. When I realized how much fun he was having and helping others move toward their goals, I decided I would “try it.” This, of course, changed the course of my life. I eventually gave up my career as a court reporter and transitioned to being a gym owner and nutrition coach. While I might not like to be in the spotlight, I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE helping and coaching others; dare I say I am good at it?
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, “I don’t really enjoy working out. I had to open a gym to get my ass in a gym.” While that may seem funny, or sad, it is true. That being said, I do workout and I do watch what I eat. Why? Because we all should. It does make you feel better in mind and body. It does give you more energy. It does give you more confidence. It does make you stronger. It does help you fight off disease. It MAY help you lose and/or maintain weight, (remember, you can’t out-train a bad diet). I’m sure there’s more reasons, but I’ll leave it there.
As a Coach, I’m always encouraging and helping my clients to be the best version of themselves. When it comes to me, well, yeah, whatever. I do, however, practice what I preach and the CrossFit Cleveland community holds me accountable and makes me work harder than I would on my own. It’s really not that difficult. It has just become part of my life now.
We are all on a journey – our own journey! I always meet my clients where they are and must remind myself to do the same. On a personal level, I am in no way comfortable with where I am and where and what I actually would like to be, but I’m a work in progress. As for CrossFit Cleveland, my heart swells with pride. I love the people and how hard they work to be better in the gym to follow our mission of living a happy, healthy and confident lifestyle. For today, as I look back and reflect, that will have to be ok. I will continue on my personal journey and keep moving forward.
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